As we
give thanks on this day of Thanksgiving, I furnish you with an enumerated
roster of things for which I give thanks, though this list be not
all-inclusive.
1. That it has been ingrained in me
by family tradition that Sunday means family time, not just free time.
2. Football, despite the consistently
poor performance of the Cleveland Browns, the beloved team of me and my nephew.
3. Homes with well maintained
landscaping, although it would be swell if commendable maintenance required
less effort.
4. Weed-killing agents that leave the
grass unscathed.
5. Figs. I must’ve knocked back 20 or
more of those delicious things this year, benefit of being on good terms with
my neighbor and her bountiful fig trees.
6. That the childhood memories of me
and my siblings are a constant source of amusement for the whole family.
7. That my balding head is a constant
source of amusement for Cade and Kelly.
8. That I was raised to behave
according to a moral standard rather than a sense of entitlement.
9. For sun tan lotion with SPF 50 so
dad can still swim nude while maintaining a healthy degree of coverage for his
previously defeated butt cancer. [Note
for the gentle reader: A reference to a victorious bout with skin cancer on a
very curious locale.]
10.The joy of the written word,
despite the indigestible blather produced by the much heralded James Joyce.
11.That vegetarians willingly forgo
the delectable helpings of meat dishes so that the rest of us barbarians may
consume and enjoy their portions.
12.That stamps are now stickers no
longer requiring a lick.
13.Plastic BIC pens, those things
never fail.
14.The satisfaction that comes with
completing a physical task or exercise regiment.
15.Pizza pie!
16.Sports talk radio.
17.Arch supports.
18.Gainful employment, despite the
necessitated inconvenience of working 40 hours per week.
19.That I have family that I love and
enjoy, because I prefer spending post-Thanksgiving dominated by feelings of
being engorged rather than enraged.
20.That I have parents that I want to
please rather than one-up.
Happy Thanksgiving!
-klem
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