I’ve never eaten pistachio ice cream. True, never even a
sampling. Not that I have an aversion to pistachios, in fact, my taste buds and
I find the nuts to be delectable. As a youngster I do recall thinking such a
flavor of ice cream was someone’s joke and, if it were real, it would stink, in
kids’ parlance. But what did I know, I was a kid. Despite having heard
intermittently over the years that this variety of ice cream is actually delicious,
I have remained unintentionally without. Here, then, is why.
If I were at an ice cream store, and I have been many times,
how could I take a chance on such an unknown as pistachio when so much in the
way of known quantities of delight are available and ready to be dispensed at
the asking? With so much at stake, do I take a chance on this nut ice cream or
do I order the surety? If I were to request a single scoop of pistachio ice
cream and it fell short of expectations, it would be a crushing blow in that
moment knowing that I could have had mint chocolate chip or rocky road, but
instead willingly subjected myself to consuming the pistachio. That’s it.
That’s the main reason it hasn’t crossed these lips, the competition is too
great!
My lack of pistachio is not a purposeful avoidance, you see.
This is not an active abstinence to stubbornly remain free of pistachio. It is
merely that I have not had a captive opportunity. What do I mean by captive? If
I were at someone’s home [a voluntarily captive audience, as it were] and the pistachio
were offered, I would refrain no longer. But really, what are the odds? So many
super flavors of ice cream available for purchase at a grocery store, who would
buy pistachio in a size as vast as a quart to have in the freezer in a time of
need? A scoop of pistachio, I can imagine that happening, but a whole quart of
the stuff? Come on.
Next hurdle, should I just by chance happen to be in an
abode that just happened to have a quart of pistachio ice cream on hand, how
would I know that’s it’s on tap? Or how would the host know to offer? I might
actually have been in a home with pistachio available for the asking, but the infinitesimal
chance of the topic arising and the pistachio ice cream coming to light had never
come to fruition! I could have at some point even been standing next to a
refrigerator bearing the ice cream, but there was no conjoining between me and
pistachio.
Anyway, pistachio ice cream. I’ve never had the stuff. I will,
however, knock back a cone of chocolate chip at my earliest convenience.
-klem
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