Haircut Day

Going back to when I was a little rascal haircuts were conducted by Mom Klem. My siblings are four boys and a girl, the youngest. Roughly once per month haircut day turned up on the schedule, but only for the boys. This is how one subject remembers it.

It was late in the evening when mom placed a bed sheet on the kitchen floor. A stool was set up in the middle of the kitchen on the sheet, got the buzzers out with the varying length clippers spread out on the kitchen counter, and called the boys in one at a time. She would then sheer her boys with the efficiency of a sheep shearing operation. There is legend that Mom Klem once had to wrastle a guy to the floor and hold the rogue down to finish the job, but the job got done. I don’t personally recall this episode so I think I’m clear of the offending behavior.

[Side note on Mom Klem’s practical sensibilities: Haircut day always preceded ‘washing the floor’ day. Any loose shards of hair would be picked up the next day should they succeed in eluding the sheet.]


2003

Wife Klem and I were in a very large wholesale/retail store and saw a haircutting set. Buzzers. At Wife Klem’s suggestion we made the purchase. The next generation of Haircut day had arrived!

My boy’s hair seems to grow faster than my own. When Wife Klem sees his hair getting too shaggy he is advised that haircut day will be shortly forthcoming. We found that advance notice helps to decrease the extent of the physical scuffle at haircut time.

The picture of elegance is as follows: Stool is set up on the back patio, buzzers and electric razor for the neck are laid out on the patio table, sucker issued to appease the boy, plug in buzzer, cut. My haircut immediately follows the boy’s. After me I sweep up and we’re done until next time.



[Photo: The boy on stool reviewing a notebook of his own drawings of extreme Hot Wheels tracks while the cut is in progress. He’s a busy guy with no time to waste.] [Photo removed by Klem on 7/26/2010]

Haircuts used to be a real battle with the bellyaching, the boy’s bellyaching, not mine. But it’s a smooth operation these days and is generally conducted in good spirits.

Haircut day was Sunday.

“Mommy, I want a hole in the back like dad,” said the boy laughing and mocking his old man’s budding bald spot. Laugh it up boy, your time will come.

Thanks for the cut, Wife Klem. It looks and feels great!
-klem