Watermelon

He entered the house in a hustle, went directly to the family room and turned on the tv. As he waited for the picture to kick on he set his satchel on the floor, took off his suit jacket and draped it over the back of a chair. The tv was now fired up and he turned to the channel for the ballgame.

It was baseball, early October for a playoff game and his team was playing. He didn’t watch much regular season baseball because with 162 regular season games there was absolutely no urgency to any of them. But today, playoffs, and a mid-day game. He managed to finagle his way out of a late morning meeting and leave the office under the guise of a work appointment. With a lack of probing questions, he left, traveled directly home to watch the game where it was in the early innings and was close.

That first commercial break he dashed off to change into sweatpants and t-shirt. That second commercial break found him rummaging around the refrigerator for lunch. That’s when he saw the unexpected treasure. A watermelon! All chilled off in the frigid air of the fridge. He had been thinking of a sandwich, but he’d gladly upgrade to watermelon, at least for one slice before getting into a lunch entrée.

He set out a plate, grabbed a good knife, removed the beautiful green gourd from the fridge to the countertop. He cut off the nub, a big piece, reduced that down to bitable chunks, covered the cut melon with plastic wrap and returned it to the fridge. He delightfully resumed watching the game as his team was getting runners on base and scoring runs with a clever batch of hits and smart base running. His team was winning and they’d closed out their half inning having scored several runs. Elated at the gaming action he went back for a second slice of watermelon. 

On it went late into the game. With his team ahead the adrenaline was flowing and he quickly progressed through the watermelon. The kitchen garbage was loaded with spent watermelon rind. His chin sticky with melon juice, as was the back of his hand which had been deftly and frequently deployed to stem the flow of dribble mid-consumption. He had forsaken his lunch entrée entirely and found himself in the 9^thinning, game still close, the enemy team had rallied and it was clutch time. His team must hold on or their season would end in defeat. Suspense built. With the game hanging in the balance the phone rang. His bride! He loved this one more than baseball itself. He smiled and took the call.

“Hi, I thought you might be home watching the game,” she said, the reciprocating smile could be heard in her voice.

“Yes, we’re winning but it’s close,” he responded attaching himself with the inclusive pronoun.

“Good, then I’ll be quick. Timmy and Mary are coming for dinner tonight. You don’t need to do anything, they’re bringing lasagna, cake and drinks. It’ll be a fun evening. Oh, I bought a watermelon for tonight. Don’t eat it before then. See you in a little bit,” and she hung up.

The watermelon! The conundrum here was thick. The game was on the line and he didn’t dare miss any of it. But he loved his sweet pea and didn’t want to disappoint her. It was imperative he replace the watermelon carcass, there was nothing left, he’d consumed the entire thing. His self-restraint had been so lacking that he’d even slurped up the residual juice from the cutting plate. He needed to leave immediately, drive to the store, brave the unpleasantly busy confines of the grocery store, hunt down a new, ripe replacement watermelon and place it in the refrigerator just like its predecessor. But the game! No, he must go now, cannot watch the game further, there wasn’t time for both.

The clock ticked. Soon, with further delay he’d surely not have enough time to return from the watermelon replacement-mission unnoticed. His mind was blank, even more blank than usual. The crowd on tv roared, the game was no longer going well, the other team scored and the game was tied. Make a decision.

[Inspired by a high school classmate who admitted to have once eaten an entire watermelon in one sitting.]