Klem's Goals for 2023

It's important to have a game plan to keep a guy on course. So, here's my plan for the new year.

[1]  Read Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy. Is a lengthy one at 900+ pages, but writing it down here will tilt the table toward completion. Plus the following two classics. It's easy to drag one's feet and avoid these oldies, but I'll knock them off in 2023.

A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens.

The Mayor of Casterbridge by Thomas Hardy.

[2]  Self-publish Magglio Cervantes a novel. This will entail the figuring out of Kindle's self-publishing feature. So here goes.

E-Book in Q2.

Audio book in Q3.

Physical book in Q4.

[3]  With the goal of staying healthy in these advanced years [heck, I'm 55], here's a medical checklist for the year:

Blood test,

Colonoscopy,

Physical,

Prostate check,

Dermatologist to check for troublesome sun exposure on my balding skull,

And the recently achey back, unless it self-fixes in the near future.

[4] Research non-profits, part-time paying jobs and volunteerism. This will be a retirement prelude. The goal is to stay productive in retirement instead of turning every day into a weekend.

[5]  With an eyeball on retirement, compile list of 30 things where deferral will no longer be a viable option.

[6]  And a fun retirement list, 100 things I'd like to do once I'm there.

[7]  Scrub old Mac laptop and discard.

Velodrome

Rumors had circulated about it, this home, fantastic in its pomposity, since even before construction had concluded. Now there was the ogling, the unsavory hectoring, building a domicile with these features, dimensions and capacious girth.

The home, though not beautiful, was so magnificently massive that it commanded a begrudging respect. A single family dwelling of this size. What the hell. It was asinine, such a thing. At the very least, it was expected that it housed assholes. They'd have to be assholes to occupy such a behemoth. Egomaniacs that absolutely took themselves too seriously. But wow, the size!

There were so many bedrooms and bathrooms that nobody really knew the final tally. It's fully built-out basement with home theater and auxiliary media room, roof top deck plus a roof-top full basketball court, a garage large enough to host a high-end antique racing car show, if desired, but at the moment it was not. So large, was the home, that a professional footballer could stand at one end and was unable to huck a football in the air to the other end. Beyond reach both in length and width.

People would drive from all over to witness this monstrosity of magnificence. They knew nothing of the owner or family within. They knew only that the home was certainly an exterior shell hiding the weaknesses of a very shallow human, or family of humans. Nobody was really sure, of course, because the inhabitants did not commingle with outsiders. In fact, they didn't really mingle. They kept to themselves, like they're too good for everyone else. What assholes, those who reside there, right?

The laughter was wonderful, loud and inviting, the total lack of restraint. Four of them. Father, mother, two youngsters plus a dog. The laughing, not at each other, but at all of themselves, each enhancing the ebullience of the others. Magnanimous laughter enjoying their camaraderie.

They lived there, this family. In the house that purportedly contained assholes, these were the purported assholes. But, all they really were was ridiculous. They would be defenseless in the face of that accusation, not that it would bother them. Though they would likely giggle, especially the little ones.

The laughter slowly cascaded to a close. The father, still catching his breath after all that gregarious harrumphing, offered a precautionary suggestion. "Almost ready, you fun bugs. Get another drink, catch your breath . . . and here we GO!" Closing the sentence with an alarming amplitude of decibels amply diluted by laughter. 

He was riding a bicycle, the father, in the house! In the fantastically too large domicile he commenced at what most would definitely denote a too fast rate of speed. 'Why is he riding indoors? And riding at an outdoor rate of speed? But why's he inside,' they would certainly ask, and they would be correct in its asking.

Meanwhile, his speed escalated as he blew past the coat closet, wet bar, pair of elevators, and sports room. The bicycle zipped down the hall, through the family room, office, continuing through the laundry room, eventually letting out into the grandest of large garages for a 180-degree turn, then back in through the kitchen, down the hall, through another family room before eventually egressing into the polished floor of the jai alai court where they would turn again to continue their cycling loop.

Trailing dad were the two youngsters on bicycles of decreasing size. Smiles as large and wide as their young faces, hair plastered to their sweaty foreheads, riding hard to keep pace. Momma followed behind the children, a slight worry in mind. Not of accidents. The lot of them were helmeted, fully decked out in personal protective equipment of elbow pads, knee pads and wrist guards. Accidents would happen, have happened, and will happen again. She worried they might get discouraged if they couldn't keep up with their father. Really, the guy had no restraint and would get lost in his own personal delights on these indoor rides. But no, nonsense such worries. The children, again, already laughing reveled in the chase. The joys of bike riding. The joys of riding indoors, and being fully sanctioned to do so. They were well practiced by this time. This had been their evening routine for weeks and they'd become quite good and agile, the nimble lot of them. 

The mother, smiling and lovely, buoyed by her halo of golden hair. This was the sensible one. When her husband had first proposed a bicycle ride, the whole family, she thought 'How wonderful.' His proposal, though, was not yet played out. It was not a normal bicycle ride being proposed, as unveiled by the additional details that tumbled from his mouth. There would be the pushing aside of furniture, clearing hallways of all loose carpets and most artwork from the walls, throw rugs gone, sculptures from the hallway tables, tables from the hallways. All the extra large double-doorways would be opened. (You build a dimensionally fantastic domicile of this size, you do not door it with single-serving doors.)

The look on her face listening to her husband blather on. Her patient grace, staring into his face waiting for the give, the wink betraying the joke. It did not arrive. There was no joke in it. A proposal of sincerity. She loved this man. She also knew beyond a doubt, as much as she loved him, that he loved her with a beautiful reciprocating love that outdistanced even her own generous issuing of the same. Disbelief accruing, yet undecided. 'What am I missing? What is he talking about, an indoor bike ride?' 

She was sitting on a hallway end table, hand resting comfortably on an expensive vase, her legs poking out from her sunflower yellow sundress, the one with prints of foxes in playful animations. Her feet dangling off the floor swinging back and forth, legs like two beautiful opposing metronomes, patiently waiting for it to pass, if it would. Then his big finish.

". . . because look at this place," he said with arms outstretched, eyes open wide, though not wide like a crazy man. Eyebrows arched and a generous smile, then going forward. "This gigantic ridiculous home. It's ours and it'd be a shame to treat it with untouchable reverence. Let's not waste this. And besides," bringing his arms in, hunching slightly to speak with her eyeball to eyeball. "And besides," he continued sotto voce, a hand resting gently on each of her thighs, his frisky lopsided smile. "We'd be assholes to do such a thing, the untouchable reverence. Look, I can be an asshole, but not most of the time. You're not. The kids are sometimes, but they'll outgrow it. Let's make the most of this fantastic beast of a home with it's too big hallways and impeccably straight uncluttered straightaways one after the other. We Iive in a phenomenal place like this. We cannot waste it. We mustn't." He then booped his nose to hers as if to punctuate his point.

She smiled. She loved him and his idiosyncrasies. Pausing to consider her options, not rushed and a non-awkward silence loomed. He was putty in her hands. They both knew it, but he didn't know that she knew it. She was his moral compass. He, of course, needed such a steady weathervane as this, a reliable means to adjudicate his occasional, though, grandiose cases of whimsy.

"You want this to be our own personal hippodrome," smilingly teasing him, an effort to clarify before deciding.

"Uh, actually, and you should know this, that's where they race hippos," correcting her, he thought, accentuated with two raised eyebrows on his forehead as if pleading, 'You do know this, of course, right?'

She knew, of course, but was amused at his misplaced admonition, so she gracefully allowed a reprieve from issuing her own unto him. 'How did he get along and function before me,' rightfully went the thinking. Then the reward of yet unspoken consent.

She kissed him on the lips. Not slow, nor was it hurried, and was then prepared to make a statement. Knowing the response was at hand, he withdrew to his full height kindly relinquishing her personal space.

"OK, but if we're going to do this, we'll all need new bicycles. They'll be our indoor bikes. We'll have a family outing this evening to get them. But first, dinner. Come. Chicken pot pies." Without awaiting a rebuttal she deftly dismounted the table with a grace that spoke to the vestiges of her athletic adolescence, and walked down the hall toward the dining room. He watched her move down the hall and his heart went pitter pat. It wasn't just because of the pot pies.

That was two months ago, the scene of inception.

"Dad, I'm tired. Can we stop riding bikes now and swim in the pool, please," asked the youngest. 

"Two more laps. Come on. Catch daddy," he yelled back, then accelerated, the kids giggling, pedaled harder at the challenge.

He rode, mouth wide open, the sweaty mess, and he was yell-laughing with joy. An overriding thought playing out in his head, a sincere recurring mantra of gratefulness, 'How fortunate am I. This is my life! This is my life!'

Klem's 77 Principles For Personal Peace

These are aspirations. Some I possess, others fleetingly, and with others I struggle. Occasional stumbles are motivation to straighten up and get back on track. But I confidently submit to you that wielding more of the following will lead to enhanced levels of peace.

[1] Find yourself an encourager because life isn’t always rose buds and soda pop. Someone you trust for honest feedback. Then, let them know you value them.

[2] Exercise regularly. This is important for your mental health, not just physical health. No, you don’t have to bench press your weight, do a bunch of squats or own a gym membership. Go for a walk after dinner several times a week, do yoga, rock your cardio machine. You get the idea. Move around a little bit.

[3] Be open to feedback. Anybody can get chewed out, that's easy. The hard part is scrolling through the noise to find the constructive, then a practical application.

[4] A person is only as strong as their own self-doubt. Identify yours, then seek to master it.

[5] Belts or suspenders. Choose one. Never both simultaneously.

[6] If you want peace in your life, then behave like someone who is already at peace.

[7] Don't concern yourself with what others think of you. It's a sure route to losing track of your priorities. Just do the right thing and keep moving forward.

[8] Complaining is for those who have given up. Remain above that self-degradation. Seek a solution, implement a plan, then go forth.

[9] Validation. A person seeking it is trying too hard. So don't seek it.

[10] No rhetorical questions.

[11] Turn the sprinklers off when it rains.

[12] You can’t control what happens. But what you can control is what you do. Care about your effort and the quality of your work. Do not obsess about the outcomes.

[13] Life is difficult. It requires dedication and hard work. But the rewards are there. There are lifetimes' worth of unredeemed rewards left by those who turned back in the face of adversity. So, do not give up. Persevere and redeem yours.

[14] Be guided by thought, not feelings. I often feel like eating frosted Pop-Tarts for breakfast, and I sometimes consent, but a steady flow of consenting to feelings would lack direction and decrease odds of peace.

[15] Do not condescend. You wouldn’t just sound like a pompous jackass, you would, in fact, be one. 

[16] Everyone makes mistakes. If you messed up, then apologize, take appropriate corrective measures, learn from your mistake, do not repeat.

[17] If you’re on a hike, it’s good to stay on the trail. But as you traverse life, it’s important to sometimes stray from the path everyone else takes. Find your healthy idiosyncrasies and feed them.

[18] One person behaving poorly does not give impunity to reciprocate. Conduct yourself as if your momma or grandparents are watching. Make them proud.

[19] Ego is the enemy, so attenuate its power by actively avoiding the last word in a discussion. Let the other person have the last word. Just give it away. This will take some getting used to, some practice and incremental improvements. Be equal to the challenge.

[20] Enduring life isn’t enough. Do something with your time.

[21] Ask ‘How’ and ‘What’ questions to improve the quality of discussion. And ask fewer ‘Why’ questions as they tend to induce a defensive response, an entrenching of position.

[22] Find inspiration, whatever makes you tick, and use it to motivate your productivity and creativity. Do something. It’s better than being sedentary.

[23] Do what needs to be done regardless of whether you want to. Get it done, then move on to the next thing, hopefully something you want to do.

[24] A goal without an action plan or road map is a mere dream. Don’t settle for being a dreamer. Have a plan.

[25] Stop casting blame. It's a distraction and waste of energy. Stay focused, look for a solution and proceed with its implementation.

[26] When speaking with someone look them in the eyeballs. Eye contact improves the quality of the interaction.

[27] Good manners. Everyone deserves them, so treat everyone as though they do.

[28] Body language matters.

        Good posture.

        Don’t cross your arms.

        No scowling. Save this for driving in traffic.

[29]  Walk with purpose, even if it’s feigned. Nobody can tell the difference. But also, and more importantly, have a purpose.

[30] Enter a room with confidence, even if it’s false bravado. Nobody can tell the difference on this one either.

[31] Control your temper and moods. As Albert Camus wrote in The Fall, ‘Being master of one’s moods is the privilege of the larger animals.’ Be a larger animal.

[32] Shake hands like you mean it, because you do.

[33] Remain calm under pressure. It’ll elevate your status in the eyes of others. Plus, the opposition will find it intimidating.

[34] It's not a matter of what you don’t want, but what you DO want. Let that be your motivation. Make progress toward a goal, rather than simply scampering away from an undesirable.

[35] Being busy is a choice. Choose to be productive instead. No more ‘I don’t have enough time' or ‘I’m too busy.’ Choose to have room in your schedule for what matters.

[36] Hindsight is 20-20. 'I knew it' is a cowardly remark. If you have something to say, then say it when it still matters. 

[37] Take responsibility for your own happiness. You are living your life, not merely existing in it. Do not empower others to furnish it unto you or prevent it. Decide for yourself. Choose happiness. It is self-fulfilling.

[38] Acting out in a bad mood is unfair to those around you, inflicting your foulness unto them. Rise above. Decide who owns whom. You or your mood.

[39] Keep it positive. It makes the world around you a better place. Not blind optimism, just proactive positivity.

[40] Ask for help when needed. Asking gives someone the opportunity to feel good about their knowledge-sharing. Then, pay it forward when it is asked of you.

[41] When considering a position, listen to an opposing view. Give yourself a weighted starting point, but remain open to hearing other positions and switching if it's better.

[42] Politics. Such conversation can be enlightening. Can be, but is mostly infuriating. If you intend to venture forth into this arena, keep the tone constructive. Do more asking and less telling. Ask intelligent, sincere questions of those you respect. Test your own positions and recalibrate if needed.

[43] Life is an endless stream of goals for which to strive. Take control of your destiny by game-planning each. When you level up, then advance to the next goal and pertinent action plan.

[44] Patience is a superpower. Nurture your capacity. The lack of it is the foundation for mistakes and regrettable behavior.

[45] Your success is limited by the difficult conversations you avoid. They’re difficult because they’re important. Talk it out. Choose courage over comfort. It leads to a more fulfilling path.

[46] Freedom and independence are opportunities for self-discipline. Be up to the responsibility.

[47] Do the right thing from one decision to the next, from one day to the next. All those things beyond your control, leave them to work themselves out. Those things beyond your control are distractions, not priorities.

[48] It doesn’t matter what other people say or think. It matters only what you do. You only control your own actions. Make them count.

[49] Be more direct. Not rude, just say what you mean, politely and sincerely.

[50] Say what you want, not what you don’t. This puts you on a positive path rather than passively hoping to avoid what you don’t want.

[51] Respect the elders. Engage them, ask questions and listen. They've earned an audience, offer them an opportunity to bask.

[52] Show your gratitude. You have much for which to be thankful. A life that prioritizes Gratitude is a life that hoves toward satisfaction and peace. Be a force for good.

[53] Never stop learning. If you think you know something, then you are done learning, and so is your forward progress.

[54] You are a combination of the five people with whom you spend the most time. Choose wisely.

[55] We judge ourselves based on our thoughts and intentions. But are judged by others based on our actions and words. If you behave rudely, then you are rude, regardless of thoughts, words or justifications. So do good and behave yourself.

[56] If you possess a talent at which you excel, do not be content to simply enjoy the excellence. Develop the talent. Then seek a way to turn it to positive effect.

[57] If finger pointing is your thing, then use it for casting praise rather than blame.

[58] Be a person whose first reaction is to resolve a problem rather than one whose first is to complain.

[59] No gratuitous foul language, that's lazy. Use your strong words. [Reprieve allowed in case of hammer striking thumb.]

[60] Teach your kids to swim.

[61] Anger leads to dumber decisions. So, be happy. Or at the very least, don’t make decisions while angry.

[62] To make the world a better place, the formula is simple. You don't need to be better than others, simply be better than you were yesterday. Everyday. Repeat process.

[63] In life, you get what you give. So give your best effort and best behavior to be reciprocated in kind.

[64] Do something, don’t just be something. Happiness is attained in the journey of doing, not in the destination.

[65] The email Subject line. Use it. No blanks.

[66] If Captain Obvious would say it, then you don't have to. So don't.

[67] The ways in which a person spends their time reveals what’s important to them. Don't just say what's important to you, prove it with your actions.

[68] Don't interrupt when someone's speaking. Await your chance.

[69] Humility. Get greedy with it.

[70] Button-fly blue jeans. Nope.

[71] Be patient with yourself when learning a skill. Be impatient in mastering your faults, weaknesses and fears.

[72] Exercise forgiveness. Learn to let it go. Peace awaits.

[73] Do not procrastinate because peace awaits this too.

[74] If you want to be heard, then speak constructively and concisely. Don't merely offer criticism.

[75] If your kids want to do something with you, just say yes, every time. This dynamic changes quickly as they age and the parent loses the power position. Get them while you can.

[76] Do the right thing. Let the consequences take care of themselves.

[77] If you're scratching a dog and you've found the 'magic spot,' don't stop scratching until the leg stops moving.

[This is my personal self-help list. A list for which I continue to work with varying degrees of success. But #77, I have that one mastered. -wdk]

Klem is the author of yet unpublished novel Magglio Cervantes, blogs at [http://wdklem.blogspot.com], and can be observed horsing around on Twitter at [@WilliamKlem1].

PODCAST with Abraham Lincoln, the transcript

[If podcasts had been a thing dating all the way back to the 1800s . . . ]

[Artwork by my cousin, Roger Singer.]

April 13, 1865

Chuck Plowman is a journalist for the Stars and Stripes newspaper. He is also an award-winning podcaster hosting a weekly podcast program interviewing important political figures of the time.

Chuck Plowman: [standing to greet his guest] "Mr. President, thank you very much for your time, sir. Please do come in. Have a seat." [gesturing with an open hand toward a seat across what appears to be a cleared work bench.]

Abe Lincoln: [stooping slightly to enter, then looking around the darkly lit workplace] "Good evening, Chuck. What is this, we're meeting in your barn?"

CP: "No sir, my carriage house. Well, my converted carriage house. This is where I conduct my podcasts and writing."

AL: "Thank you for having me." [brief pause while taking his seat] "Please pardon my naivete. This is my first podcast. How do we begin?"

CP: "To get things rolling, sir, a puff ball opening question. What did you have for breakfast this morning?"

AL: [smiling] "Blueberry scone with hot chocolate. Delicious. I usually imbibe heartily of cups of black coffee in the morning, but a celebratory hot chocolate coming on the heels of the close of our hellish Civil War. It's cause for a change before getting back to a very full schedule."

CP: "Blueberry scone and hot chocolate. I understand that as a sitting President you'll have opposition to about 50% of anything you do, just given our divisive politics of today, but I submit to you that there'll be a much smaller number of constituents finding fault with that breakfast choice."

AL: [laughing and scratching his beard] "I suspect you're speaking truth there, Chuck."

CP: "Mr. President, you mentioned the hellish war. Starting with that, if we may."

AL: "By all means."

CP: "With the official end of fighting just earlier this week, what have these last few days been like?"

AL: [pause, gathering his thoughts] "Relief and, at the same time . . . absolutely awful. The relief was Sunday, General Lee surrendering to General Grant at Appomattox, the courthouse. The awful is the aftermath calculating the number of lives lost, on both sides, the wreckage reaped. All the parents of all those lost boys, the human waste . . . " [pausing looking at an empty space on the ground, regathering] "There is no easy way of going forward after these last few years. Yet, go forward we must."

CP: "What happens from here?"

AL: "The rebuilding. The Reconstruction. We must behave in a conciliatory way. If we are truly to be one nation again, then we must behave so."

CP: "Regarding Reconstruction, please explain."

AL: "I understand this won't be welcome by everyone, but my vision of Reconstruction includes not just the rebuilding, of course, but the right of suffrage for all freedmen."

CP: "Sir, 'not welcome' is lightly stated. There is even opposition to that vision on your side of the political aisle."

AL: "That's true, and it's necessary for that discussion to commence. But that's not all. We need to protect the legal rights of these newly freedmen, their citizenship and right to own property. There must be an effort to establish schools and churches. This is a grand opportunity for social and economic progress for this young nation. Additionally, Chuck, those 11 states need to be re-seated in Congress. There is much to be done and, by God, it will be so."

CP: "Sir, these last few years have made you powerful enemies. How does that shape your thinking?"

AL: "It doesn't. My thinking is shaped for positive effect. Positive effect, not happy effect. I will absolutely not appease those who want me to stand down. That's not why I was elected into office. I will wield my time as President to enable good. Good for the nation. The whole nation, not just one half to hold sway over the other."

CP: "Let's change gears and go a little softer. In researching for our podcast today, I heard about a childhood incident about you and muddy footprints on the ceiling of your childhood home. Do you care to confirm or deny."

AL: [chuckling at the recollection] "Oh gosh, I was 12. Yes, confirm. But let the record reflect, Chuck, it was my cousin Dennis' idea. This would have been Indiana, Pigeon Creek Farm. You've got to understand, our home had a dirt floor. When it rained, a heavy unrelenting rain, the ground got muddy inside. Dennis and I got into a good deal of tomfoolery, and that rainy afternoon in question was no exception. We were much more nimble then, of course. Standing back to back, we locked arms behind our backs, he bent forward, and lifted me up with my feet upward and they hit the ceiling. Then he took a few steps, and so did I."

CP: "So Dennis was the trouble maker, if I'm hearing right." 

AL: "I wear plenty of shame for some of my sophomoric antics, but you know what that friendly tale doesn't tell is how much trouble we got into. You'll note there is no evidence of a recurrence, given the reprimand issued."

CP: [chuckling at Abe's recounting] "Your cousin Dennis was older than you and living with your family at that time, is that right?"

AL: "That's right. Dennis's parents passed away very young and he lived with us. He was like a brother to me."

CP: "If it's not too intrusive, Mr. President. You've had more than your share of misfortune as it comes to lives cut short. If I may, sir, you've lost two children."

AL: [a brief pause and he clears his throat] "Mary and I have lost two sons, Eddie and Willie. Willie to fever and Eddie to consumption. The pain never goes away, and it starts fresh again every morning. Mary and I both struggle in our own ways dealing with those losses, profoundly so. . . . I am truly sorry for those parents and soldiers who lost lives to this war. It's my job as president to make sure those sacrifices are not wasted."

CP: "The Gettysburg Address, November 1863. Some consider it a great speech and I suspect it will be remembered for a very long time. 'Four score and seven years ago.'"

AL: "Yes, well, thank you. That, of course, was the dedication of the soldiers National Cemetery."

CP: "It is applauded not just for the quality of the message, but so concise. Some might say that it's so short that school children could deliver it."

AL: "Truth is, Chuck, if a fella makes enough speeches, eventually he'll get a few of them right."

CP: [laughing] "Yes, well, I keep saying the same about my podcasts. Hopefully I'll eventually get one of these right. . . . Sir, what does happiness mean to you?"

AL: "Successful legislation followed by a game of horseshoes in the evening behind the oval office with a quaff of beer. Mary doesn't like all that clanging of horseshoes striking the iron. I told her I'd have a rose garden planted as a compromise."

CP: [prompting delicately] "With all due respect, sir, you're a man who's had some grief. Yet, here you are, looking to be in relative good spirits."

AL: "Thank you, Chuck, for the push back. I have my struggles, to be sure. But happiness is a choice. A person can dwell on life's challenges  and its downpours, or one can proceed with a positive attitude. I'm not talking about 'lemonade out of lemons' blind optimism, but positivity allowing one to keep going forward in the face of what might otherwise be debilitating grief."

CP: "Sir-"

AL: "Please, if I may continue. You raise an important question and it's worthy of a proper response. Personal struggles. Bouts of depression. There were days where the greatest struggle was finding a reason to get up out of bed. Chuck, there have been too many parents these last few years burying their boys. Mary and I have done the same. Getting out of bed in morning, on too many days it was an awful task with which to start the day, but the day starts with that because there is work to be done. And my staying in bed calling it quits helps no man."

CP: [reviewing notes, then looking at Lincoln] "Let's talk about your House Divided speech. This was after you were nominated to the Senate and is widely regarded as what earned you the Republican Presidential nomination. "A house divided against itself cannot stand. I believe this government cannot endure permanently half slave and half free." That was very powerful stuff."

AL: "I do not expect the Union to be dissolved—I do not expect the house to fall—but I do expect it will cease to be divided." Yes, that was truly inspired. Of course, that was not well received everywhere."

CP: [with a finger pointing to his page of notes] "Very true, sir. The 1860 Presidential election found you winning only two of the 996 counties in the Southern states. The electoral college, though, was decisive with you carrying not just the North, but also California and Oregon." [turning over his page of notes then laying it face down on his work bench]

AL: "That period was a real whirlwind. This became a country in motion."

CP: "The secession from the Union started within a month of your taking office."

AL: "I often wonder, what, if anything, could I have a done differently to avoid war."

CP: "You were inaugurated in March 1861, the war began in April with the attack on Fort Sumter in South Carolina. Then there was the Emancipation Proclamation in September 1862. And just like that, slavery was abolished in the rebel states. A symbolic gesture, I think you'd agree."

AL: "Symbolic, yes, in that they remained enslaved until freed by Union troops, but a necessary step toward manumission."

CP: "Manumission?"

AL: "Freeing the enslaved."

CP: [reading from notes] "I never, in my life, felt more certain that I was doing right, than I do in signing this paper." Your words regarding signing the Emancipation Proclamation.

AL: "And the Union started preparing the army for emancipation."

CP: "Mr. President, speaking of freedmen, yet I haven't heard equality mentioned."

AL: "Chuck, you're broaching the 3/5th Rule. Is that right?"

CP: "Yes, Mr. President. Saying that a black man is equal to 3/5 of a white man. History may view that harshly."

AL: "Let me ask you a question. Do you believe one man is equal to 3/5 of another?"

CP: "No sir, I believe in equality."

AL: "As do I, and this is at the forefront of the conversation. It won't be an easy conversation. I know you're a student of history. What was the intent of the 3/5 rule?"

CP: "Mr. President, I'm going to fall short of your eloquence, but it was to keep the southern states in check, so to speak."

AL: "That's right. It dates back to 1787 counting enslaved blacks as three-fifths of a white man. It was an unsavory yet necessary compromise to prevent the slaveholding states from having disproportionate influence over the Presidency and Congress."

CP: "If I may interrupt, please, Mr. President. So the discounting of blacks was done for political purposes?"

AL: "Politics is . . . it can be dirty. It's also important. It was necessary to do what could be done to make sure the slaveholding states do not control or unduly influence the three houses of Congress."

CP: "Do you think there'll ever be a Black President of the United States?"

AL: "The United States is made up of good people. We have some healing to do. But yes. Yes, absolutely."

CP: "Where do you think future generations will look back harshly on us, the accepted social sensibilities of our time."

AL: "In addition to the three-fifth rule, Black voting rights. Women's voting right. Every time there's a big political issue, Mary Todd gets hot and tells me what she and the other wives are thinking. And you know what, she's right. And the nation is going to have to catch up some day."

CP: "Let's go in a different direction. What advise would you give to your 20-year old self?"

AL: "Possibly, the hat. Maybe I would advise that I develop a penchant for a different hat style. I was 6'-4" at 20 years old. I had attained above-average height and was already conspicuous in any crowd, then the top hat escalated that unnecessarily. But it enhances my presence, am I right?"

CP: [smiling] "With all due respect, Mr. President, you're 6'4", and then you add that fantastic hat. Sir, you stand out. OK, what do you think the future holds?"

AL: "Well, footwear for starters. No disrespect to our local cobblers of today, but there must be a better way to outfit these old dogs." [Abe pointing at his feet.] "Also, I foresee improved White House security. Certainly the White House is the house of the people, but it is surprisingly easy to breach. Seemingly monthly citizens walk in and expects to have a conversation over breakfast. It's important I hear from the people, of course, but there's work to be done and these unannounced visits can be distracting."

CP: "OK, rapid fire questions. What book is on your nightstand right now?"

AL: "The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin. I'd been meaning to start The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, but that strikes a little close to home just yet. Maybe next year.

CP: "Do I understand this correctly, you have a patent? Is that right?"

AL: [chuckling quietly to himself] "Correct, yes, you are a well researched scrivener. I spent time in and around Louisiana some years ago and received a patent for a flotation device to move boats in shallow water. General Washington never had a patent, nor those Adams gentlemen."

CP: "What do you think of Alaska?"

AL: "Never been there."

CP: "No, no, I mean, acquiring it."

AL: "Chuck, it's a long way up there. I don't see how it fits."

CP: "You were a wrestling champion, were you not?"

AL: [again with the chuckling] "How did you find this? Yes, I was the county wrestling champion. I was 21." [mock flex of a bicep]

CP: [a proud smile plastered widely across his face] "I do my research, sir. My guests deserve my best work. Your nickname is Honest Abe. That's from your days as an attorney? How'd that come to be?"

AL: [smiling] "That's right. Honest Abe got dropped on me during my time as an attorney in Illinois. As sobriquets go, I could have had much worse, but I do think it important that a person resolve themselves to be honest in all events. Do the right thing, let the consequences take care of themselves."

CP: "Let's put that to the test. True or False. You at one point intended to be a blacksmith?"

AL: [appreciative head nod] "True. I had just returned from the Black Hawk War. But instead of blacksmithing, a partner and I bought a general store. We obtained a bartending license, started selling spirits, then business went south with the partner. I ended up running it mostly by myself. That was fun for a while, though. You know, we sold take-out dinners and it was quite good."

CP: "Good how? Business was good or the dinners were good."

AL: "Business was awful, but the food was good. Well, good enough for me, but I've never been accused of a refined palate."

CP: [laughing, enjoying the colorful exchange with the President.] "Speaking of food, what's your favorite sandwich?"

AL: "My appetite during these war years has been poor, but Mary's pulled pork sandwich is the good eats of special occasions. So, that followed by a gingerbread cookie, or two pending how sticky my fingers are."

CP: "Is there anything we didn't cover that you'd like to hit?"

AL: "I like the Homestead Act, that was a nifty piece of legislation. May I give this a mention?"

CP: "Oh sure, I have family members who directly benefitted. 160 acres of formerly government-held land sold cheaply to those willing to live on it and improve it."

AL: "That's right, millions of acres. And it was possible because the Southern congressmen and senators who opposed it in the 1850s were absent, having seceded."

CP: "What else have you before we go, Mr. President?"

AL: "May I mention the National Banking Act, or is this too pedestrian for our discussion?"

CP: "Your administration issued U.S. paper currency for the first time. Dubbed the greenback on account of it being printed green on the back."

AL: "Very astute, Chuck. The inception of the national banking system and paper money."

CP: "Mr. President, you've been an absolute pleasure. I can only imagine how busy your schedule is at this critical juncture and we appreciate you making time for us. May your future hold many more blueberry scone and hot chocolate breakfasts."

[Abraham Lincoln was born 2/12/1809 in Kentucky and killed at the theater in Washington D.C. on 4/15/1865.]

• 2/20/1862 His son Willie died at 11 years old. Lincoln said, "My poor boy. He was too good for this earth. God has called him home. I know that he is much better off in heaven, but then we loved him so much. It is hard, hard to have him die!"
• 5/20/1862 Homestead Act signed into legislation
• 9/22/1862 Emancipation Proclamation signed into legislation
• 4/9/1865 Lee surrenders to Grant at Appomattox, officially ending the Civil War
• April 15, 1865 Lincoln assassination
• 1867 Alaska joins the Union
• 1870 Black voting rights signed into legislation
• 1913 The White House Rose Garden is planted by Woodrow Wilson's wife, Ellen Louise
• 1920 Women's voting rights signed into legislation

[Maybe I've been listening to too many podcasts lately, but I'd been thinking what ground a podcast with historical figures might traverse. -Klem]