Babies by Suit Size

“Congratulations on your baby boy,” says the doctor. “He’s 6 pounds, 12 ounces, and 19 inches long.”

Why is this acceptable? Why are babies measured in terms of length like some kind of reptilian birth? Enough, I say. Let’s bring some dignity to the announcement of a baby’s dimensions. I propose that from hence forth babies be announced by suit size.


Example 1: “Congratulations on your baby! He’s 6 pounds, 12 ounces, and he’s a 3-Regular.”


Example 2: If the baby has long arms, “Look at the reach on that baby! He’s a 4-Long!”


Or is it just me?
-klem