Juicy Burgers

‘We’ve got juicy burgers,’ goes the advertisement.

Juicy burgers? Really? That’s your effort to tantalize the populace?

First things first. It’s not really juice, is it? Isn’t it really cow grease? So is your advertisement telling prospective patrons that you’ve got greasy burgers? And that’s the focus of enticement? Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve no appetite for a burger that is greasier than the next.

Second, if it’s greasy, maybe you’d like to cook it longer until it’s done. Burn off the excess grease, man. Let’s not talk about the grease as if it were a drawing point.

I suggest an amended advertising ploy. Perhaps a slogan that boasts instead, ‘We’ve got tasty burgers.’ Of course, you’ll have to fix the grease problem, first.
-klem