The Los Angeles Zoo, a trespassing

July 1979

Two sets of brothers hopped on their bicycles and rode. One set of siblings was me and my younger brother, the other brothers we’ll call the Stewarts.

“What do you guys want to do,” asked one.

“Let’s ride to the park,” suggested a second.

The park was fine and crowded on this sunny Saturday afternoon. Crowded, but not overextended. We bicycled to a walking trail overlooking the Los Angeles River. Seeing a compromised section of fence we discarded the bicycles in a thick batch of vegetation in a sub par effort to hide our vehicles. We stepped through the fence and onto the gentle concrete perimeter downslope toward the water. The water was curiously high and rapid for the summer.

The first set of brothers entered the water with their jeans pulled up over their kneecaps and shoes tied together and hanging over their shoulders with stockings stuffed within. Like fearless pioneers they traversed the 50-foot expanse of water and progressed up the gentle concrete upslope on the other side of the river. My team now set in motion. We crossed helping each other for strength to defeat the current and equaled the performance. Socking up and shoeing forth we inclined the embankment to find another opening in the perimeter fence and removed ourselves.

Proceeding on foot we traveled briskly to the foot of a hill and blazed straight up until we reached a well worn dirt path. Impossible to resist, the path was engaged. Talking, joking, and throwing rocks we walked. Then we came to a 10-foot tall metal chain link fence. The condition of the fence was impeccable with the exception of the fact that the bottom of the fence was a full three-feet above the ground! The intention of the fence was now no more than a farce. We went down onto hands and feet, keeping our pants tidy, and awkwardly crab-walked underneath. With not so much as a dirt stain, we stood up to reevaluate our doings.

We each had an adrenaline rush brought on by the thrill of trespassing and were incapable of retreat. With a heightened sense of awareness the sound of dirt under our shoes was occasionally interrupted by a flurry of unique bird and animal noises. But most curious was the ambient noise as would be dispersed by a large gathering of people. The path intersected with an asphalt paved maintenance road. Craning our necks around the corner and peaking down this same path revealed an aviary, nicely maintained lawn, and a sign. The sign indicated the ELEPHANTS were down a path to the left and JUNGLE CATS to the right. We had entered the Los Angeles Zoo! And at no charge!

We scrounged up a map and perused the wild caged beasts. With a mild feeling of remorse at the unlawful transgression, I thought to pump a dollar into the zoo as a way of dissipating a degree of guilt. One dollar was slipped into the machine and it produced a wax tiger souvenir. It was pastel blue and ill shaped as exhibited by a coarse unformed wax ball in the hind vicinity where two legs and a tail were expected. The machine had performed inadequately; fitting given the means by which access to the premises had been gained. I shoved the figurine into my pocket and we exited the zoo through the main gate.

Crossing the LA River, via a bridge this time, we came to the sloppily hidden bikes and exchanged good byes.

-klem